Shrink-o-Matic

I'm sitting here, wondering...about life. Yea, well, we all do it, especially when it's the middle of the work day and it's taking a heck of a long time for Friday to roll around. But in all seriousness, I'm pondering the idea of human nature, the inherent curiosity we all have about life and its numerous options, and how the curiosity that we all nurture has created civilizations, inventions, technologies, and the exploration of not only Earth, but great galaxies, far, far away. Curiosity: not a bad thing.

And yet, I think about how this very curiosity affects our day-to-day lives and I do a mental double-take. The accessibility of the globe via the internet and cell phones (and the internet on our cell phones) brings the world to us; we no longer have to go in search of "it". Hence, our curiosity and our need for information, knowledge, a search for self either via online streaming seminars, webisodes, or even via googlebation...are all endlessly satiated while simultaneously creating a need for more, more, and more. Curiosity, one finds, feeds on itself and seems to require an enormous amount of energy and resources that we constantly seek, in order to feed the growing "monster" within us. Hmm. Curiosity: is it a good thing?

Then how does this translate into our daily, interpersonal lives? For one, people no longer meet in person as often to have a heart-to-heart talk: they pick up the cell phone, text, or even chat online. Individuals self-entertain by playing video/online games, ordering dinner on the internet (which gets delivered to your door, thereby avoiding the whole in-person hassle), and even stream movies online, instead of heading to the local Cineplex. Even better than that is that people don't even go out to find dates anymore! They join oodles of bright, shiny new online dating sites to meet "the One". And when they find someone, they resort to video-cams, conference calling, online chatting, or the telephone...instead of heading to the closest coffee shop because, hey...the internet makes life so much easier when you can live your life sitting in front of the computer in your p.j.'s., right? So where did the innate curiosity, the thirst for exploration, and the need for human contact disappear to?

The worst part of it is the fact that in spite of ALL that is available to us, at our very fingertips, people in this modern day of "you can have it ALL" are at their most depressed, anxious, unfulfilled, fearful, and unhappy, therefore self-medicating through illegal drugs, alcohol, prescription pills, meaningless/casual sex, and psychotropics. Then it makes one wonder: is curiosity and its by-products really that good a thing?

What about relationships? Divorce rates continue to climb, people continue to be dissatisfied in relationships, they still cheat (and now even more often, too, given the accessibility of partners-in-crime via online means), families are breaking up, intimate relationships appear to be more dysfunctional than ever, people don't even talk/write in full sentences anymore (tx to txt tlk), and most folks are still single, unhappy, moaning and groaning about it...and none of the innovations, technologies, or self-help methods seem to help anyone yet.

Knowing all of this, and experiencing it first hand even...why do so many of us experience a feeling of anhedonia in our day to day living? Why is it that when we do get what we want, or be with who we think we want, we still ponder the circular question(s), "Is this enough? Am I happy? Is this what I really want? Is there something better out there for me...?" Isn't that the inherent curiosity of our species biting us in the ass? Doesn't this type of over-analysis land us in a place of "there's more for me out there," therefore creating dissatisfaction (based on self-deluding expectations, a belief in the next best thing, the "never enough," or greener pastures) and leading to depression, boredom, intimacy issues, communication breakdown, break ups, and the never-ending search for something better? Are we all looking for that magical moment when we meet "the One" and run towards each other in green fields, embrace, move to the castle, and what? Live "happily ever after"? How many of us still think that's what love looks like (yea, me TOO! But I'm working on this...).

What are we all looking for, anyway?

Why do we look outside of ourselves for self-fulfillment instead of taking a peek inside of us and learning to appreciate what we do have, and not always focusing on what we think is always lacking, missing, or absent? Maybe nothing IS missing. Maybe it's something missing inside of US, and we just can't bear to look at it, so the constant search for the unnameable and the unexplainable drives away the fear of really accepting me, you, us, and the reality that hey, maybe this is IT. Can it be that simple?

I am certainly guilty of much of the above. Nonetheless, on a day like today...it makes even me - the eternal curious child - wonder...what am I looking for all this time, anyway?

I must admit...fairy tales did not do us any good. In my case, my Prince Charming really turned out to be a Princess-in-the-Making, my dreams of a big wedding with a pouffy dress now seems unnecessary (and outrageously expensive!), and the happily ever after? Well, it's not looking quite like what I imagined, but accepting what I do have is turning out to be an adventure all on its own, with unexpected twists, turns, and perhaps a surprise (happy?) ending. So is it better to enjoy the romance of reality, or do we all still long for our "castle in the sky" and hope to be rescued by...well, whomever we think ought to rescue us (God forbid, we should rescue ourselves!)?

All of this does make me wonder....

But then again, I suppose I'm just curious that way.