Shrink-o-Matic

For the second time this month, someone just bumped into me in the hallway, nearly causing me to dump my soup-of-the-day on my white shirt. So, now I need to spell it...because it seems that many people are unaware of hallway rules and etiquette.

Hallway etiquette is very simple. Not unlike driving, the unsaid rule is that one always keeps to his/her right of said hallway. Whether you're coming or going...you want to keep yourself close enough to the wall to allow for passers-by and those taking a right or left turn into different hallways. And, you never want to stop without prior notice...and cause a domino-effect of oncoming traffic of bodies bumping into one another, front to back. If you intend on stopping, the correct etiquette/rule is to slow down your pace, turn around and look over your left shoulder - away from the wall - and make eye contact with anyone that might be coming up behind you...giving them a smile (this is similar to signaling in a car), holding their graze briefly to let them know..."Hey, I'm coming to a full-stop".

If you're changing hallways...look over your left shoulder, slowly change lanes, and turn into the appropriate hallway, making sure to give the right of way to the oncoming traffic that's going straight ahead.

And if you want to stop and chat with someone in the hallway, for Pete's sake...do it in the middle of the hallway, leaving either sides of the hallway clear for opposing traffic. Or better yet, step aside and spare us all the u-turning and maneuvering around various bodies blocking the way.

It's very simple, really. The only time I could maybe understand oncoming traffic ending up toe-to-toe with me on the same side of the hallway is...if the person happens to be a recent transplant from the U.K. who is used to driving on the opposite side of the road. Otherwise...isn't hallway etiquette fairly easy to figure out?

Tell that to the schmucks running into me on a regular basis when I'm doing my lunch run at noon every day.