Shrink-o-Matic

Have you ever been seriously impatient with elevators? Why do we get that way? Whether we really want to go somewhere immediately or not, there's a common sense of entitlement when it comes to people and elevators.

This morning, I got on the elevator to visit the Human Resources office. I wasn't in a hurry. No one was waiting for me. I just wanted to pop in to ask a question. But the damnable elevator was not arriving, even though I'd called it maybe...oh, 30 seconds before. How dare it? I called it and it didn't come. The nerve!

After some foot tapping, some button mashing (as if that makes it come down faster, right?), and some sighing and huffing and puffing, the elevator arrived. But that wasn't enough, was it? Once I pressed the elevator floor button, I began pressing the "Close Door" button incessantly. Do you think the door closed? No. What's that button for anyway? To relieve anxiety and give us a sense of control? I honestly think the button does nothing. I've never yet had the door close when I press "Close Door". Is it just me?

Once I got up to the floor (finally!), I wandered about, even stopping briefly at the gift shop to see what's what. Some mad rush I was in, eh? But where does the pressure to "get there NOW" come from with elevators? And don't anyone judge me. I've been on the elevators with some of you, and you're all no better. Yea...you know who are!